Much of what I write here consists of the same. Over and over and over again, I either write about how much it hurts, how I don't understand, or the overall disbelief for the entire situation. She is still gone. It is still unfair. It still hurts. I still miss her. I still can't believe that she won't pick up my call, and her phone has been turned off for quite some time now. I still don't understand how she could have been so stupid that night. She was so selfish to leave me here to deal with this. I was told that it would take a year for me to get through the grief. Well, it has been one year and 4 days since she died and I am at home, crying once more.