I can't hold it in anymore. I can't pretend like what happened the night before her seizure simply did not occur. Her family said that they didn't want anyones perception of her to change. I don't care anymore. I am holding this in and it is absolutely killing me. Ignoring what happened is just as bad as ignoring her epilepsy and pretending like she didn't have that either. I have had these thoughts lately that what happened to her was essentially suicide. That she knew she was doing something that was a great risk to her health, and her life. I can't get past the fact that she knew she was taking her life in her hands, and that she was always a greater risk for seizure if she had any alcohol. Not only did she drink the night before, but her step sister decided to put her in a situation in which there were people doing large amounts of cocaine. In a matter of weeks from when she moved out of SB and to LA did she go from living a healthy, albeit difficult, life to snorting coke with her step sister and ultimately killing herself in the process. Her cause of death was overdose. Even though she drowned in the tub of the shower, the amount of cocaine found in her body led the medical examiner to conclude that it was an fucking overdose that killed her. My miss. She was not a drug user. She was strong and knew the dangers of her epilepsy. I will never understand how this happened. How things changed so drastically in such a short amount of time, leaving me here to deal with it. And I will never understand nor forgive her step sister for aiding in the process. For being so ignorant and without any sense of obligation or responsibility.