Take my eyes and take my heart.

I struggle with the notion that I could have done something to change this situation. I go back to that tuesday night, when I went out to a bar instead of staying at home and talking to her on the phone. I wonder if the chain of events would have been different, eventually leading to her being ok right now. But she is not ok right now. According to the doctors, she will never wake up. She will never be interactive with her environment. So for now, I sit with her and talk to her about what I am doing. I sit with her for as long as I am able too, and then I give her a kiss and tell her I will be back soon.

I don't know if I will ever get over this. But I am grateful that I had the time with her that I did. We spent so many hours together over the course of our relationship and even lost friends because of the amount of time we spent together. The things that hurt now are that the touch of her is hard to remember. Trying to remember how she said certain words, or hearing her say i love you when we spoke on the phone. I go to sleep now just hoping to dream of her. I focus all of my thoughts on her as I lay in bed hoping that when I fall asleep I will be thrust into a dream of me and her. I miss my best friend.