I am ill.  And no, I don't mean ill as in Illson5, J. Carusos screen name.  I have no idea how I remember that.  I'm sick.  And tired.  I left 2 days after her funeral and two months later I haven't returned home yet.  I need to come home so I can go to the cemetery and make sure there are flowers and that it is nice and tidy.  I need to talk to her and tell her how hard it is to live in a world without her.  I can't leave here soon enough.  Don't tell anyone I'm coming home, its a secret.