Still waiting.

28 days and she is still not back yet. It is hard to grasp the reality of this situation. It is even harder to remove myself from everyday life, let alone enjoy any little pleasure from time to time. With each passing day, I can not figure out whether I am feeling better or worse. I guess that is only natural, and that the grief and pain with this will go in waves and ebb and flow like an ocean tide. Many times, you hear people say that when something bad has happened, the best part of their day is when they first wake up because they have a split second when their mind has not reminded them yet of that tragedy. I have had a recurring dream lately, which is absolutely exhausting. I wake up every morning in tears. I truly wish I had that split second every morning of a blank mind.