to: my meliss

It is saturday at 3:30, and I have been in San Francisco since tuesday waiting for you to get better. I know you may not be able to read this anytime soon but I just wanted to tell you how much I love you. You know I fell in love with you the moment I saw you on the train, and my love has never faltered. I spent my life, from the moment we were together, trying to make sure I was always there for you. I learned so much about you, and so much from you, that I don't know if I will ever be able to move on and live without you. You were the greatest friend I could ever have asked for, and you were so many more things as well. You were my confidant and lover on top of simply being, in my eyes, my soulmate. I know you may have had other ideas about that last one, but this is just me telling you how I have felt for about 3 years. I have not spent 1 minute the last 5 days focused on anything but you, for I feel like every ounce of energy and positive thinking must be spent thinking and praying for you. I know you can make it through this meliss, I have faith that you can get through this event and will be stronger for it. I miss the days of walking to the farmers market to get asparagus, artichokes and flowers with the occasional avocado thrown into our canvas bag. I miss sitting on the bed with you and watching tv, or simply talking to you and listening to you speak about your day. I miss waking up next to you every morning and watching you sleep. I know it sounds creepy but you always had the sweetest look on your face when you were sleeping. I miss going out to eat with you, and analyzing everything about the particular restaurant, from the lighting to the attire of the wait staff. You had such a unique way of expressing your thoughts. Your mannerisms were things of beauty. The way you spoke with your hands to the way your perfect little nose would flare a little everytime you spoke. Your laugh warmed my apartment so perfectly that I thought of ways to crack you up constantly just so I could hear it. You are the strongest and most dedicated person I know. You will make it through this time meliss. You have to make it. You are the greatest thing in the world my love. I am always thinking of you. I will see you soon. I will never stop loving you.

-al