Melissa tried so hard to remove herself from people and from situations that could potentially harm her.  It makes me so angry to know how much she cared about protecting herself from those things.  It's hard for me to be angry at her, but there are definitely times when I am.  The choice she made has hurt so many people.  She had such a great support group in Santa Barbara that when she moved home, things just started to spin out of control.  Between the amount of seizures she had leading up to the one she had on the 29th of July, to going out with new people that were unaware of her epilepsy, to trusting someone to be family when they were never family, and never will be.  That is what gets me the most.  That someone who was dealing with their own problems decided to include Melissa into their own destructive behavior.  I understand that Meliss was an adult, and made her own decisions but I can't imagine ANY of her friends putting her into the situation.  Melissa spent a few years making sure she was not put into that situation.  How could she imagine that her "family" would have been the one to do it.  It is just not fathomable.  It drives me out of my mind to think about how easily it could have been avoided if not for one obtuse and absolutely ignorant human being.  This is where my mind comes to an impasse.  If something could have been so easily avoided, then how is it in the greater plan of a higher power?  I get lost going around and around in my head deciphering the characteristics of the word meaningless, hoping to figure out whether or not this was in fact part of a greater plan, and that her "time" here on Earth was done, or whether or not her time was not done and if not for one person, she would still be here.  I do know that she was my angel before her death, so the idea that she is one now is not very difficult to accept.  I told her she was my angel from the moment I met her.  It is just so hard to find any meaning in this madness that is my mind.