I haven't decided when I am coming home just yet. I am torn between two thoughts. One is to stay here and take this opportunity to the fullest and completely inundate myself into the culture and everything this place has to offer. I am told of the therapeutic qualities this town has to offer, from therapy to art classes, to yoga..etc. However, I am pretty depressed and refuse to take any medication so the other idea I have is to just come home. I miss home. I miss the familiarity of friends and family and the things that I know to be true.  The familiar can be a crutch.  From the moment I found out what happened to her, from driving to San Francisco, checking in and out of hotels, wandering the city of SF, coming back down to SB and moving back to La, to 58 days of her in 3 different hospitals, to sitting with her everyday and talking to her and holding her hand and painting her nails, to her death, to the week leading up to her funeral.  To watching the casket lowered into the ground and then covered with dirt. All of it all continues on and created such a complex quandary in my mind.  The familiar creates the illusion that everything is alright.  The familiar gives you the comfort in knowing that there are some things in life that are still safe.   If i decide to come home, it would be in the next month or so. If not, I may be down here for quite some time.