everything comes in waves for me right now.  I will be fine all day long and then when I try and go to sleep, something overcomes my body and sometimes it is just so difficult. It surfaces in such painful ways.  I hate that there are things about her that I can't think of, and I struggle to remember everything about her.  There are some things that I can't remember.  It has almost been three months since her accident.  I remember the last time I spoke to her.  It was only for a few minutes, and she said she would call me when she got back from San Francisco. Seeing her have the seizure in the car, shortly before her accident, and hearing her tell me that she loved me.  Kissing her and holding her after she stopped seizing.  Hearing her say to me "don't make this any harder al, you know I love you."  Everything she said to me in that 45 minutes was exactly how she felt about me.  It was so pure. It was as if everything was already in motion, which neither of us could control.  Knowing that she made connections with people that she hadn't talked to in quite a while the day before her accident.  Hearing her tell me those things after we had gotten into arguments in the days before. I am just so confused about everything.  I still can't deal with any of this.  I can't believe it has almost been 3 months since she was found on the floor in the bathroom in SF.  All I know is that I love her.  I did when we met and it is still true today.