Why is it that some people think that getting out into the city will make me feel better? Or that I can choose whether or not I am miserable. It is not like I just had a terrible breakup and I am searching for answers why I am no longer going to be someones boyfriend. Or that because I am particularly quiet, that in that moment, I am miserable. I wish everyone was able to understand this situation, but that would mean we all live in a perfect world and I think it is clear that this world is not perfect. It is fucking cruel and terrible. I am sorry that sometimes I am quiet, but there are many times that I have nothing to say, at least nothing of importance. That is where I am confused though, because how is there supposed to be anything more important that this? How am I ever supposed to be able to accept this as reality and move on? What happens when I put everything I had into someone, and that person becomes my life. When they are taken away, what happens to me?